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SONNET 116
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken...
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
" If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved."
BOTTLE : EMOTION EXPLOIT Part A
瓶子
搁下冷傲的假面,免谈自尊
任由“情绪”放肆不断的穿梭瓶体
歇斯底里的崩溃﹑哭泣﹑发狂﹑破碎;
“够了!够了! !!!”
—— 直至停刻,逐渐平静。——
过程的发生,只需短短的
— 几 •分•秒 —
凌乱的周围 收拾干净
杂乱的头发 梳直整齐
复杂的情绪 回复正常
*再续。。。*
Bottle
Forced to put aside its mask of Pride
Dignity... Lost
"Emotions" came unbridled
Constantly tormenting its body part.
Hysterically Collapsed.
Cried , Mad and Broken ;
" ENOUGH !! ENOUGH !!!! "
----- Stopped. Silently Tranquil. -----
The occurrence of the whole process , took within just a short period of :
-- Several • minuet • second --
Messy environs , hygienically unsoiled
Shambolic hair , untangled neatly.
Complexity of sentiment , back to normal.
* to be continue...*
All the World's a stage
Sitting infront of my notebook , thinking. Things remain silent. What left , is only the voice of keys...typing... kept typing.. erased... and erased.
What am I doing now ? I d' suppose to sleep and prepare for my next classes early in the morning. Yet... I'm still sitting here , right here infront of my own world... where texts and words exist through my creation.
In fact , many things and ideas are running through my mind.Just that , I haven't got a clue to express them in my own words...What to began ? How to began ? Where.. to began this ? Confusing... just confusing.
Life is a story.True story.
Alphabets...one by one...*sigh*
to describe my world within just a few alphabets ? Naive , but possible.
Well , maybe... a quotes will do.
All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages.
-William Shakespeare-
All the world's a stage. Ha , what a good one =)
Goodnight world ;)
You wanna get that !? You sure ? o.O ?
You will need to work DIE HARD in order to survive , till the end of your day.
How pathetic it is to be a fact o.O
Recently , I began to realize that people in my surrounding never get satisfied with what they had.Well this is pretty normal cause humans never get satisfied with things in life. NEVER ! ( complain ~~ complain ~~ complain ~~ )
Let's seek this on a brighter side shall we? Unsatisfactory could lead to most advanced of improvement from the ungrateful humans , in order to satisfy their needs and wants.Thus,this shall results into a positive conclusion, whereby the humans century will have a greater outcome for the future ( yeah right ha ha ha ha )
But what I'm pointing now is towards those people , who aren't willing to pay any afford or putting the wrong afford or maybe using the wrong method to get the things they want.Yet still kept wondering why others can easily owned the best things in life while they can't even owned a single shit for their own.
Let me tell you , WHY !?
We are always feeling envious with other 's people possesses ,
But we never tend to understand why they possessed them.
(Though asking why and knowing the answer can't bring you any good in this , but if you want to fool yourself with that silly question , keep going. I wouldn't even care , I never care about anything though. LOL )
Instead of envying with others possesses,
Why don't you try to fight things for your own ?
No pain No gain. Without any hard work of the spring , there wouldn't be any harvest for the falls.
Walk every each of your steps in life steadily , then every steps of the day will eventually bring you to
THE JOURNEY OF SUCCESS !!!! YAY !!!!
God isn't blind. He will granted your wish only when you pay much afford to show how eager you are on getting the things you want and of course , with a nice intention ;)
" The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough."
- Professor Randy Pausch
When you succeed to have it , appreciate and feel grateful for what you have mate.
And when you don't succeed to have it , ask yourself : " did you pay enough effort compared to the others ? "
Things will only worth to become your belongings , when you used to grab them in a right way.
You deserve to have it , because you fight for it. You sacrificed , then you may owned it.
But when you don't , I'll have to say... SORRY , BYE BYE
This is what we call , LIFE
Life ~~ oh life ~~ ohhhhh life ~~ ohh life ~~~
我们常羡慕别人所拥有的,却从不明白为何别人会拥有。
与其常羡慕别人所拥有的,不如靠自己埋头去争取?
俗语说:“一分耕耘,一分收获。没有春天的耕耘,那来秋天的收获?”
踏实的走好人生每一步,总会有苦尽甘来的一天。
必经,人生总是以踏实最为莊观。常走直径也未必会成功。
没资格走直径的人,千万别冒险。
My Love Story with an Arsenal Boy. ( Yes is long but I don't care)
Is one of those messengers send by God. The most precious gift in my life...
During SEM I in UTAR , you came into class without my notice.You hold the door for me during PS class I only had a glance on you.You mentioned my name during Aida's lame introduction game session and I hate you.You stood up for the debate during Raja porno Queen class , I was stunned... with your maturity and intelligent mind.Such a brave and passionate guy.
You fallen sick...heart numb.I just felt panic.. Don't know why... I sort of felt the compassion for you while at the same time , Impressed with your courage.You fall onto the ground , infront of me... can't seems to breathe easy.I wonder.. how can such horrible thing happened to such a sweet boy like you ? Raised up from a broken family , traveled far apart from his homeland in Taiping to KL for studies... And now... having heart numb ? Haiz.. Life and destiny.
This silly boy , when I broke up , he broke up as well.We both were lonely and hurt , going back to school with both broken and tiring hearts. I fed up with everything in life , feeling hopeless , just felt like straying away from people and stays alone , stays alert and was hoping that nothing could harm me.
But you ? God's children are always tough , you continue to strike for the best , laughing like nobody's business. But i knew... deep down in you.. there's a hole... a deep hole.Not much people seems to notice it... cause he's been labeled as the most optimistic funny guy among us all.And the only thing in his mind , is to bring joy to people , bring laughter to his friends.
Lovely isn't he ? =) Such a nice boy who brought impact to me.If every guy in this world could be like him rather than just thinking about themselves,thinking about useless stuff,using their heart to love rather than using their useless brains to.Had no bad intentions for one relationship.Willing to give out their hearts to the one whom they love aren't that amazing ? Make love simple you childish bunch of guys , don't complicates it. =)
His laughter always fills the atmosphere. ( Though sometimes people tend to complained that he's a bit noisy like a monkey and yeah he loves monkey though. Emoticons la ~ )
There you are.. always beside me.Making me laughed like a mad woman during the whole lectures and tutorials.My time past quickly because of your funny lame jokes.I do not think about my sadness while I'm with you. Thank you... *kisses* I felt to have hope in life, while seeing such a nice brother beside me , and a bunch of great quality friends...
The moments where we both were lost.. missing directions in Taman Jaya , buying Chinese Christmas present for our Son , Taking the wrong train but never got panic , still do the talking and talking so Yeng ah ! xD Well , what to say , I never even dream of having such a best friend , who almost had the same common interest as mine.
You love music I love music , your a pianist so am I , You love scottish accent I love british accent.You love spongebob squarepants theme I love spongebob squarepants theme too.You like black , red and blue colour and those are my favourite colours.You love starbucks I love starbucks ( everyone loves starbucks xD ) , you love to taste great food and I love it too,you listen to all kinds of genre for musics and ME TOO !! You love to perform yourself and ME TOO !! You love poems and yes ME TOO !! ( Just that I ain't that pro as you xD ) You love to jokes , doing funny actions , acting and singing , debating , watching English movies...
=) Me too.
Once , I read this Arsenal Boy's blog.. I cried.Because of his article... which he had written for his girl. So touching and romantic yet meaningful. I was amazed that you can cover your sad emotions perfectly infront of others,but then behind that smile,you pour out all your pain through words and text. I can really felt,the pain that you have to carry ... dark... and cold. Hopeless and miserable for certain.. Never to forget , you are still a human with nerves and organs , functioning and to respon according to your emotions..
"I am just another stranger in this land, Who am I to you?"
"But life is nothing without you,meaningless,cold and dark...I am sorry for the things past,but can we be lost in love again?"
"And can I still see that smile? When I come back here,even if we can't be,will you be happy?"
"Yes, my darling, this smile shall never leave your heart.Yes, dear, that I will be happy but promise me...That you will forget me...And all things shall be better for you..."
"Lie not, my dearest..your smile shall be in my dreams day and night...but how can I forget you?
You whom I love..."
"Then live to be happy,to cherish every moment you have with people you love,
live to tell the world of our love...oh you whom I love too..."
"Should I come back to this home,just to see that smile again? Could I just be here, to watch you from afar?To be your silent guardian angel?"
T.T ... My heart melts... gosh... You are such.. a bloody hell romantic person.So heartbreaking when I saw this .Why such a nice and lovely guy like you deserve such awful separation ? I just don't understand this.
Since then , I started to hang out with you more and more with a will of helping you ( wait , wipe my tears LOL I can't stop myself from crying whenever I read back this article ) Seeing you happy and smile like a kid, that's all enough for me as a sister , as a jie ~ for you. I felt warm whenever you called me Jie ~ Nice feeling =)
You like her right ? ( LOL Same I like her too ) I knew you were so in love with her,I'll get her for you. I'll teach you every tactics of chasing a girl , and how to make her pay more attention towards you.
But... the great Joker above... gave us the surprises which we never even thought of happening.
During New Year eve... She didn't follow us to the curve.You looked disappointed I can see , and I hate to see that for sure.Well , alright then , let's play this game , being couple for a day.We both are lonely and doesn't have pair with us,why not ? I'll pretend to be her , and you will pretend to be my boyfriend , just for this particular night.I'll teach you on how to date her ;)
But Man... lamo lamo namaiche !!! What am I thinking ? I kissed your cheek during dining !!! WHAT THE HELL AM I THINKING MAN !!? And you were shocked I'm supposed... sorry.. is my nature to kiss anything that looks adorable to me.. though it sounded disgusting , but who doesn't know Esther is disgusting anyway ? xD
Then... that night was indeed amazing.We both seem like a real couple.Holding hands together , and hug each other so tight... We both were hurt so deeply. So is really normal for me that we can be such close towards each other. Until Carmen said...
" Later play play become real ah ~ becareful yeah ~ " =.= Carmen..you useless car car
I began to avoid a little by then , but you gave me a sudden kiss on my forehead...passionately.That was...my forehead... *shy* I... I...you.. Did you just... You... You... !! Huhh huhh huhh !! *Running away with tears* XD
NOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!!!!!!!!!!! Ah ~~~ hhuhuhhhuhuhh ~~~ *smash myself with hammer*
Yes. Those sweet couple things came into me again.I JUST DON'T CARE ANYMORE !! XD
Hug you tight with love ;) muaks. And this still happen in my 21st year old age !? =.= gosh...
Grown up Esther *bush*
After that night , I went back.Still sleep nicely save and sound xD
But I continue to recalled back the situation that night on the next day , which then I eventually cancelled the thoughts cause I knew , for you... is just a night , nothing else. She is the one that you like , I should help you to court her not myself courting you LOL. I don't even dare to think of any true love between us , NEVER DARES TO.As I knew that you are only my BFF. ( Best friend forever ! xD ) Also.. I don't deserve to have such a lovely guy as my soulmate.. =) I always failed in relationship test ... my Love life sucks and I ain't good enough for anyone... I don't deserve to lost in love with you.That is why , I just gave up.Moreover , you are... my brother.. younger than me.. how could I felt that way ? No. It will only causes rumours spreading everywhere ... then literally spoilt our Identity. ( As predicted. It did happens. )
" My breaking heart.. and I agreed. But you and I ... could never be.. so with my best , my very best.. I'll set you free."
This song kept running in my mind.. Rosemary Clooney - I wish you love.
While I Intended to give up , you came out with a conversation which causes me to get jealous straight away =.= I just confessed everything out without using my proper brain to digest every word I said , argggg I'm sucks when it comes to Love , can't keep any secret of mine , cheh.
Whatever ! I said " Yeah , I do like you so what ? Kenot ? That doesn't mean we have to be together right ? I believe that once you are still single , I have the total rights to spend my time with you and appreciate you until you manage to court her , I'll let go , no pain no gain. I don't mind if we aren't together,just as long as I can spend my time together with you that's all."
That's it , straight and forward.
And I sort of think you like me too , so just fuck off
xD
WHAT THE HEAVEN AM I THINKING !? I WAS CRAZY !!! XD
At the end... This korean classic drama ( You mentioned it xD ) just happened.. During tuesday , I thought of just acting normal to you , and try to avoid from having eye contact with you... But you... never avoid nor afraid of me... yet still being close to me. LOL Funny thing was , we can still talk and talk and talk non stop as usual xD Then ... later on... you approved our relationship. I felt surprised , and shock... that you actually willing to accept me as your girl.
Being together with you.. that feeling is different.It felt so comfortably natural,and there's a warm chemistry between us.I can easily be myself whenever I'm with you.I do not need to hide things from you,and can easily pour out my feelings to you.I knew,that our love is not as deep as our first.But who cares about deep romance ? Which never seem to last longer than we thought ? Who cares about passionate love,while in the end it is the one which hurt us the most and end up fast as well ? Those days , are the days where we used to went crazy and silly before.
But not now anymore...we were both tired with those days... we were both grown ups now.We don't need any puppy love ,we want something different..something calm yet meaningful and decent.Together with a maturity mind about love,we make things easier.. and slowly... walked together... not thinking about just normal boyfriend and girlfriend.. but more about appreciating someone that we love , someone that catches your heart... No uncertain promises , no bluffing sweet talks...but just the real feelings...step by step we go through every moments we had.
That's the deepness that can't be seen through the surface. And I am sure both of us understand well that being in love is easy but to maintain a relationship is never the easiest.Not everyone tend to understand and realized about this ,but we did, for after what we had been through. As we both know clearly than anybody else does,that both of us appreciated each other so much,till we never wish to hurt each other.I do not dare to say forever... because I was not certain about our future... yet I can only promise you that I will stay beside you as long as I can , until.. it is time for you to leave... I'll let you go without any pain.Peacefully,and blesses you with my prayers and love ... till the end of my day.
Is a hard task I know...but if you don't mind... Please allow me to walk together with you.As long as we can. =) k ?











