Classiques de La Reine

I just received a called from Alice's sister , and discovered that Alice got car crashed by accident.

At first I thought it was a joke cause they always joke with me about these kinds of thing. But never knew that so called joke could be real T.T I really do hope everything still remain as a joke !

Her sister cried to me saying that Alice bang herself towards a big banners , and she broke her back bones... even her armed.. and was sent to ICU right now.. T.T gosh how could this happen !? She still called me this afternoon , why the hell things happened so fast !?

The Doctor said this could be serious and may lead her to disabled for three months or maybe more half years... Right now she's still in ICU.. LORD PLEASE HEAL HER WITH ALL YOUR POWER AND WILL !!

She must be very painful right now... T.T GOSH ALICE...

I just prayed with Isaiah about Alice..

I must repeat the whole prayer again and again tonight.. I hope she wouldn't feel too much pain.. She's even afraid of butts and easily fall sick while we are in camping , now car crashing !? No ways she's gonna feel better.. Lord please make her feel better...

Today is Sunday.

Finally I returned myself back to Jesus Christ after a deep fall.I could never think of anything else that would really wash away all my sins and forgive every of my mistake except my Father In Heaven.He is the only one that I could really seek for help and repent after all of the mistake and faults that I had done to Him.I disobey Him for once again , and turned myself back from Him like how I was being treated lately.But now I choose to seek for Him after I was hurt deeply.Though for how many times I betrayed and totally forget about Him , He still remain there for me , always... never ever thought of betraying me nor leave me...

Our Lord God Almighty is always the greatest Father for us.He will never abandon nor forsake us during our harsh time.

LORD GOD O FATHER IN HEAVEN :

I knew I had make my biggest mistake by eagerly to free myself from your Spiritual Wall Lord Father. I knew , my wish to find for my own freedom had also cost me a big sacrifices.For many times you tried so hard to protect me and gave me hints on the danger that I will about to face if I stray myself away from you , but my Egoistic and Selfish characters disobey your will and your order , I always find ways to climb out from your Spiritual Wall , and cause myself being influence by the dark world out there.I don't want to live a life as you told me to , and I was so naive to convince myself that without you I will still walk a better life , I can still survive In a way I want to , I can still create the stories which I always dream of , I can still get the pleasure I want to have. I refused to follow your teaching and your rules, and I am so arrogant to think that I CAN BE WHO I WANT TO BE without your rules , without your teaching.

I hated the way you teach me , and your rules seems so old fashion to me. I found myself stepping in a world which I thought it seems more modernize and realistic , and it also symbolize the freedom and luxurious life which I always wanted to have.

Lust , Alcohol , drugs , cigarettes , parties , clubbing , swearing , complicated immature relationships living a life which I don't even know what's the truth meaning of it. I thought all these are just normal living for humans , is ridiculous if I restricted myself to not follow and involve myself into all these...

But I never knew.. that my thoughts had been fully controlled by the Devil.

I destroyed my own Wisdom that you gave by choosing the wrong path.I am a weak lamb , disappeared and ran away from the Shepherd for the sake of fun and freedom.I never knew about all the dangers out there , I never realize that the Devils are always finding ways to destroy we Christian as a Son and Daughter of Lord Jesus Christ.

That is the reason why you build the Spiritual Wall for us Lord Father,for purpose.

But we fools never seems to take notice about your afford.

I felt so ashamed of meeting you once more after what I had done.I thought Holy Father wouldn't want such a sinful Daughter like me.But I was wrong , cause I failed to realize that once again , you are giving me another chance to repent myself , to woke up from the mistake , to alert myself that I am walking back to my past again.

This time , you choose to learn me another lesson by sending another Human to test me.Let me discover that I am not as strong and smart as I thought I were before.I am still weak,and naive,I wasn't alert with what's happening and I never listen to my own self concious as well as remembering all the teaching you taught me,easily controlled by the Devils.

Lord... Right now.. I just hope to come back again , cause this time.. I finally manage to realize that how Important are you to me.How ungrateful I am to you before this,asking everything from you without giving you a return.Your request for me are just simple , that's being faithful to you , obey you , follow your teaching and always appreciate what you had gave me. But I failed to fullfill your wishes eventhough I know those are the things that I can manage to fullfill If I want to.I choose not to care and still ask for more from you.I am a reckless Daughter and I always failed your teaching.

And now , after the lesson you had taught me , I finally realize and understand how you feel.I was blind folded before this and now I'm finally awake from the nightmare.

Wash away all my sin O Lord and Once again , Let me serve you with all my will.

Forgive the one who had hurt me deeply , He doesn't know what is He doing.I shall not hate him because I do not want to bring any hatred when I'm Infront of you.My mind should be clean and pure, so that I can be a good example to others for you O Lord.Change him O Lord , like how you change me.I believe he still owns a good nature , but he had been confused and controlled by the Devil like me.I knew he was struggling , help him O Lord and Bless this child who was once belongs to you.Lead him into the right path without letting him straying away from your Spiritual Wall again.In Jesus Mighty name , I prayed , Amen.

I can only say that , we both are too young.Very Impulsive and never consider about the consequences that might occur.We are both selfish , always asking for more from each other.
We are generally the same kind of person but with different request and Intention.

We both are equally Ego and Self Center , never wanting to sacrifice too much on each other.Yet we wanted to change each other.Our view is totally different , you want me to be outstanding on the physical and outter part,on the other hand , I need you to be superb on the Inner soul part.When you can't fullfill my request,I pik Chek. When I can't fullfill your request , you felt disappointed with me.

But the difference is , I do madly In love with you before.But you mistaken your love for me.You don't love me , you're just curious about me , you found me different because I dare to approach you more than the other girl does.You found me special because I am the only girl who dares to talk to you , pointed out all your mistakes.You want to know why , and discover what is it all about me.But you never know, I had been approaching all kinds of people before,you are not the only one who I dare to do so.Then you started to create your own view about me , by creating those view , you began to put those own creation onto me and make a false presumption on me.But when you discovered the truth that I am different from the girl that you you always wished for all this while,you began to feel disappointed,then you ran away for the very first time.

But I had tide you back,you seen me cried when you told me that your feeling towards me had lost a bit.You pity me,dare not to end up with me,your self - concious had told you to try this relationship once again,and then you did.

But... things gone differently.Everything just change since from the very first time we met, not getting nicer , but getting worse.Obviously , you had shown your tiredness into our relationship.You don't want to make any afford on maintaining the Love between us anymore.Because,you really did lost your feelings for me.Unfortunately,I don't.My feelings for you are increasing day by day while yours are decreasing.I refused to end this so fast , I paid all my afford to get your attention back,but you never realize and notice that.Because you really don't care anymore.

Not only you,I found myself falling In Love with a guy which I don't think suits me at all.For me , you had transformed Into another person which I can't even seems to recognize anymore,honestly,sometimes I did felt disgust and annoyed with you.One of the reason I kept hold on to you without letting you go mostly is because, I couldn't accept the fact that,you don't love me anymore,you always showed your unwillingness to be with me and never gave me the respect I that want to have.You had made a lot of careless mistake into our relationship by purpose as well as abandoning all those promises.I felt so embarrased and humiliated to be treated this way.

I felt angry for it,thus,I refused to obey everything you want me to do and I began to fight back.I started to show my unsatisfaction towards your attitude,I argued with you,for several times just to test how important I am to you and was hoping that you will persuade me to stay.

But you never had any intention to do that.Unlike how you did to me for the very first time.

I started to feel the fakeness In you , I cried and struggle for so many times.But whenever I pick out the calls from you,my heart melts.I told myself again,hold on to you,pay more determination Into our relationship,have faith and believe in you cause maybe you don't love me as much as I did but you do love me somehow,soon you will sure understand my Love for you.

But I had paid a big price just to have your heart back.

For you,is just nothing.But for me,that's my dignity.The only thing that symbolize my value and prices.Is not that simply and simple.I know what you want,but pardon me,I don't think you are the guy that I can walk together with till the rest of my life.Because at the end, I discovered  your real Intention and If I continue to trap myself Into your request, I will loose everything.Is like a big investment to me.

That is why you started to ran away from me again for the second time.I knew it all along.Eventhough you deny it,eventhough you create thousands of lies to convinced me.Eventhough you tried to defenced yourself,I still knew what you are thinking. 

You can just walk away like nothing ever happen before,then start another new life,find another new one,but not for me.Whatever it is I still paid my full heart and soul for you,you want to count that ? I can say at least 80 percent on me has been given to you.

I just at least hope that you can tell me the truth.But it seems that I don't even deserve to hear the truth from you.

Actually, I already know the truth , but I could never accept that because when I choose to believe in you , I will believe In you till the rest of my life.I am that stubborn enough until no one can grab my trust for you except you yourself.Though you ran away for days and never called me for days I still convinced myself to believe you again and again,though you never picked up my calls and told me that you need time to think which is the same lame excuses those jerks will always gave , I still believe in your words.Though after we broke up , you still never had any intention to persuade me back and make me wonder you really don't miss me at all ? I still believe you have your own reason.

Silly me huh ? Yeah , I am silly just for you.But not again for now.Never again. 

Haiz... I just hope you won't repeat the same thing to the next girl again because that isn't really a right thing to do so,towards a girl.Please,at least,pay a full respect eventhough when you don't love her,tell her the truth stop delaying her time and continue using her then run away just like that.

At least respect her as one of those who you love before. Ok ? Gentlemen ?

We both are brought together due to misunderstanding and separate due to understanding each other well.

My friends bet that I will need 3 months to get rid of him from my mind but I had proved them wrong , I used only a month of time.And that cost me a lot,a lot.

Lord,Thanks for everything.This story shall end from here.

 ² O LORD my God, I called to you for help
       and you healed me.

 ³ O LORD, you brought me up from the grave  ;
       you spared me from going down into the pit.

 ⁴ Sing to the LORD, you saints of his;
       praise his holy name.

 ⁵ For his anger lasts only a moment,
       but his favor lasts a lifetime;
       weeping may remain for a night,
       but rejoicing comes in the morning.

 ⁶ When I felt secure, I said,
       "I will never be shaken."

 ⁷ O LORD, when you favored me,
       you made my mountain ^[c] stand firm;
       but when you hid your face,
       I was dismayed.

 ⁸ To you, O LORD, I called;
       to the Lord I cried for mercy:

 ⁹ "What gain is there in my destruction, ^[d]
       in my going down into the pit?
       Will the dust praise you?
       Will it proclaim your faithfulness?

 ¹⁰ Hear, O LORD, and be merciful to me;
       O LORD, be my help."

 ¹¹ You turned my wailing into dancing;
       you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,

 ¹² that my heart may sing to you and not be silent.
       O LORD my God, I will give you thanks forever.

 

 
       

Went to One UTAMA yesterday with Fy Fy and Grackt ( need to mention hard for the T behind ). My new friend introduced by Fy Fy.

Took ktm from Serdang to Kepong.I felt great , I always love the feeling of sitting in a Light Rail Train , thinking. It really calms me down and I feel comfortable for doing that.If I get the chance to travel in Japan , I will certainly take the Light Rail Train as my main transportation. Imagine if you passed through the Fuji Mountain , purple Lavenders and all those colourful Flowers ~ Wah ~~ So nice ~

Usually I only took ktm to KL Central but yesterday was more than that.I passed through KL , PUTRA as well as Seremban.Seen different view and scene , those outstanding buildings makes me wanna quickly get a license and explore all these places. Love it.

When I had arrived Kepong , I waited fy fy at the Kepong KTM station.The wind blew onto my face , that feeling was indeed remarkable.I felt never than before, so nice and warm , thus I really need this after with all these shits I had been through these few days.It reminds me back about my past , but oh well , sometimes , Indulge yourself a little could be nice especially when you're in a situation where nothing could seems to help and get rid of all your problems. Just don't go clubbing , don't go smoking don't drink like me and get kissed by those stranger like me than anything could be great. ( oh and get rid of drugs and sex as well ^^ ) Clubbing , trust me it makes you worse. Your mind will get confused by those crazy musics and spotlight , then you will think negatively and at the end you will ruin yourself.But truly without that night , I never knew that I'm trapped into such a serious matter and really have to get out from it before I repeated my past again.Gosh , I can't believe I did those thing to myself.

I was destroyed by the one who I trusted and now I came to destroy myself? That's so mean.I should live a better life after being treated so unfair.I deserve this because first , I did not did anything wrong at all , why should I turn myself like shit after what that jerk had did to me ? I paid full responsibilities In our relationship and I put myself serious into this.I shouldn't felt guilty or regret cause he is the one who should felt it that way.I hope that God would change him into a better person before he ruin others life.

I should learn how to love myself more before I find the right ways to love others.

Nature is still the best. When you're standing in front of the nature.You'll feel better , it widen your mind and your thoughts about life and purpose of living.It makes you even appreciate every of your surrounding more.You will finally realize that this world is so huge and you are not the only one who is trying to fight for living.Your problems are so small, is not a big deal at all if you compare to what happen in this world.Yes there are sad moments but doesn't mean Happy moments won't come , it was like a recycle thing , after sad moments happy moments again after happy moments then sad moments again.This is what a Life should be. Just appreciate every moments that happen , Is nothing to be weak , and is never a wrong thing to cry. There's no rules that stated you can't be weak you can't be sad,you must not cry,is a looser to be like that ~ No.If there is one, fuck it for me.But always remember to be strong after you cry, cause that's the only choice you have and try not to let it delay for long because It doesn't bring you any good at all.So when you are sad , go find >> THE NATURE.They are the best medicine which cures the most. 

We finally arrived at One Utama and planned to visit ACTION KARMEN as well as ZHU ZHU cause they work there.Fy Fy thought they both work in Adidas shop so we search for them at Adidas and found ourselves standing in front of the shop like a retard.So I decided to called her

Me : Wei , Where are you now ?

Action Karmen : Working leh !

Me : Eh ? Didn't see you de ? I'm Infront of Adidas now wor ~~

Action Karmen : =.=''' I AM WORKING AT ADD-ON !!

Me :: LOL HAHA okok heheh ~~

We laughed like mad LOL

We found Add On , awww ~ they both are standing there so cute , one short one tall , so cute ! xD So match !! Muaks muaks !! LOve them ^^ They welcome us and serve us ~ So nice ~ ^^

Haha , Add on in One Utama is having a clearance right now , their clothes and dresses mostly cost around 10 to 30 something , that's so damn cheap.I need to buy those. xD
I shop like mad , and took everything which I like.Eh ~~ Support Action Karmen and Zhu Zhu mah ~ ( cheh ~ yeah meh ? )

Then Fy Fy brought me to a Japanese Shop , I shopped like mad again !! xD !! hahahah !!
Eh ~ Long time didn't shop mah ~ Now shop for fun mah ~ Happy for a while mah so sad these few days ~~ treat myself better ~ xD ( BLEK )

I really had a great time with them ^^ Especially Fy Fy's buddy Grackt , such a nice and funny guy.We three talking and chatting like mad , shop like mad as well ^^ hehe

Bosco called me ... and he told me( actually is his friend who told me first )  something which I would never believe that.How can a person just seen you for once then fall for you d ? Walao yeah , guys nowdays... so ... wah...

He told me that he had feelings for me when he first met me , but is just that I never sense and notice him cause , he's so quiet sitting over there and I could never imagine someone who doesn't speak to me at a first place will like me after then ? He told me that , is been a year he never really court other girls because he's afraid of getting hurt again.That's why he never took any actions eventhough he likes me .. and most of the reason.. I think , is because of his... =.=''' buddy Wen that kept kacau me. *VOMIT*

His friend told me about his feelings towards me while he was calling me , he never had any intention to tell me about how he feel because he knew I was being hurt lately , and wouldn't be prepare for any new relationship. He doesn'tt even dare to tell me that night because I will sure find it hard to believe.But his friend spoiled everything lor ~ So he have to admit.. about the fact that he likes me.

He did allude to me for several times that he likes me but I didn't get that ... because he knew that my mind only involves that jerk.So the only thing he can do , is to wait.. and help me.He just want an answer from me , but really... I don't know what answer should I give him... and was afraid of hurting him.. You can't expect me to accept him straight away right ? Because that's so ridiculous shit man ! ( Like what Alice's husband said , The old one goes the new one came mah ~ ) =.='' please ~ I don't wanna ruin such a nice guy life , he still has other choices for God's sake.

ME : " Erm, seriously.. I really don't wanna think about that right now.I just healed from the wound and really hope to concentrate on things which could makes me feel better , for example my studies.. And I really need time , a lots of time maybe years.. to prepare for other...

Bosco : " I know.. I know how you feel.I already being single for a year so is nothing to me at all.I can wait for your time , I will wait for you.When you totally forget about him and when you are prepared.You promise to consider my offer?
 
Me : " I... haiz.. honestly.. is not worth it to wait for me.Well , at this moment I hope you can still find others which suits you the most.Don't find those which you thinks she owns the whole package or anything good you can think of. Find someone that really suits you.. Ok ?

Bosco : " But I still have to find the one that I really like right ? I won't tell you or asked you to decide anything right now , I know.. how you feel. I just want to realize and understand more about you.. before I really tell you..what I wanted to tell..

Me : " Yeah.. well... sure.. I can't stop you anyway... and your a grown up right now you sure know what you are doing.. I just hope we can be friends for now cause you're a kind man ^^ Sure can be good friends. ^^

His friend told me that this guy was so crazy about me until he bother them for hours asking lots of question about me.They even chatted until 5am in the morning.. Gosh..well haha that's kinda cute :) And Alice told me the exact same thing as well xD LOL

" This guy quite funny , yesterday night kept annoying us until 5am , Now also the same , quite wondering that he is that passionate... "

Gosh , all these people kept asking me to accept him accept him what the =.=''' ( Not you lah alice I mean your husband and his friend )

Seriously... I really don't feel like involving in any kinds of relationships right now I don't even want to talk about it..Is not easy for me to walked out from that shits yeah know.I just hope to be calm and single right now cause being single , truly , IS STILL THE BEST !! You don't need to care about those jerk's feelings anymore because when you care for them and did everything for them you get nothing in return but instead you get something like >> Girls so Lame ah ~ Silly ah ~ Annoying ah ~ Think too much ah ~~ Not Good enough ~~

Eh ~ Please , fucking jerks you are very good meh ? What good you give me you tell me lar !! MIRROR YOURSELF PLEASE !! HELLO !!!

I don't understand guys that's the problem.I don't understand what are they thinking what are their intentions which makes me aren't mature enough to handle a relationship.And the other reason mostly is also because of me , myself who doesn't have any experience on observing people especially for guys.I am very sensitive and ain't mature on playing the right roll when it comes to  relationship matters.Always getting hurt and failed in a relationship.I doesn't even know how to protect myself from being hurt by them as well.I need to see the world more because I am one of those who are destine to be hurt and fail many times before I could found the right one.

It took me a month to finally accept the fact that He is a jerk and had never been good as I thought he were before.I even analyzed everything on a white paper to find a clue on what's happening between us are just fake stories and it finally gave me the evidence that he is cheating me,using me and fooling around with me all this while.Is just that I choose to trust him although I can sense something suspicious about him.I even tried to convinced myself to continue trusting him after all he had done to me.But not again for now, He is a super big jerk and that's a fact.Everything is fake , everything is just an acting.

Girls , if you are being treated unfair , please kick and killed those jerks besides you.You aren't born to be treated like this shitty ways.

Eh ! My Papa sayang me my Mami sayang me my Di Di sayang me my friends all support me did I give you the permission to treat me like this !? REPORT TO YOU MOM !! XD  See who are you pissing right now ok !? Esther Loh !!! I can ruin your life if I want to , I can just call your  mom and tell her everything you had did to me , you are dead ! Just pick up my phone and asked my friends for help, I bet you never wanted to step out from your house again !! I can really destroy everything about you If I want to ok ? I can even call my Ah Gua friends to rape you and kick you for prostitution !! ( You suit so well , sure can find big money )

But fortunate for you , you met someone just as kind and nice as me. ;) :P Before this, I really thought of ruining your life after what you had did to me,my friend even stand by and waited for my order.But at the end I cancel.I didn't want to waste my time for you because you know why ? I pity those who love you and care for you , IS BECAUSE I DOESN'T WANT TO HURT THOSE WHO LOVE YOU AND CARE FOR YOU !! LISTEN CAREFULLY IS THOSE WHO LOVE YOU AND CARE FOR YOU !! APPRECIATE THEM PLEASE !! So next time , please be careful about who you are gonna to piss !! Because of your reckless fucking attitude could cause them shits you Soh Hai Ego Self Center and Ungrateful Son !! Still call yourself mature ? LAN LAH YOU !! You don't even had any inner beauty , what makes you deserve to own someone better ? You never knew what's your ex girlfriend background is ( Ewww... Mentioning about Ex girlfriend ? I felt like vomit.. I am not his ex girlfriend , NEVER !! ) I bet he sure find another leng lui to cheat right now ~ Good luck for that girl I hope she's smart enough though.

We had seen a very cute purple colour bear which is Fy Fy's and Lala favourite. But when we both saw the name for the bear >> Thomas

Fy's face turned into black , and I felt very DULAN *PUKE* Why on earth your name is everywhere yeah ? Did you know that bear is Fy's and La's favourite ? And is really hard to find a purple colour bear ? Your name yeng sui such a cute bear lor ~ Fy fy even walked away after she saw that bear's name , haiz...

Man , you are just bringing shits to this world.Nothing more.

 

If , today is your most painful day of all , tomorrow would certainly be better than today.Leave those depressing thoughts , go on , continue your journey , you shall find a better ways to relief your sadness and sorrow.

 

" If people do not yield to grief , excessive grief will soon end up on their own." - Shakespear , from the book of Hamlet.

When you feel pain , seek it as the lowest point in life , so long as to encourage yourself to continue surviving , and stand the pain , life would have been another round of the picture.

 

If you think happiness is short , then I assure you that the pain is equally short lived. Believe that sadness could be short as well.

 

What you have to do , is to put those sadness down rather than giving up the sadness you had.

 

There is once , a girl from a secondary school decided to commit suicide after failling her exams. She climbed up towards the top floor of 10 multi-floor platform, hovering on the platform edge , weeping. Some pedestrian found her Intention to kill herself , couldn't help but screamed in horror.

 

That girl's face looks rather pale.Sitting on the top floor, she dimly heard the sharp whistling sound from the police's cars.But she remained unconcerned about her surroundings , nothing could caught her attention anymore.

 

Several policemen then rushed out from the elevator. That girl looked back , and shouted " Do not come near me or else I'll jump ! "

 

One of the officers stopped the footsteps of his colleagues. Slowly bend his head down and went near the girl. The police then said it in a calm tone : " A few days ago I tried to be like you, sitting on the other buildings across the platform, decided to jump down as well. " He continued to talked while slowly moved along towards the wall and sat besides the girl, Imitating her posture.

 

" You may not believe , I thought of dying as well. " He said. " My wife couldn't stand my job which causes fear for her everyday. She ran away together with the kids and all of my properties. Last week , the Personnel Distribution Command Awarded down the promotions seats , and I was not included for the promotion. For over 10 years I had worked as a policeman , but still remain as a basic police officers.Life is so meaningless to me." he continued.   

 

He speak in a very frustrated tone , the girl then remain silence , quietly listened to his whining.

 

" That is the most tragic moment in my life , I really don't felt like living anymore. " By covering his own face with his both hands , he then burst down into tears.

 

The girl felt pity for him , tried to comfort him with all her will " Please don't cry , if you think right now is your most tragic moment , your future can't be worst than this." she said.

 

" How about you ? You must be feeling very sad , or else you wouldn't make the decision to commit suicide aren't you ? If you could get through this period , you future can't be worst than this. " The police officer tried to encouraged her once again.

 

At the end, the girl slowly moved down from the platform , walked away with the policeman.

 

This story , Inspired me alot.Especially with what I had been through these days.

 

"You need a greater courage to suffer than to accept death." - Napoleon

  

That's so true. You need a greater courage and determination to get out from being suffer.

It is not difficult to die.But once you dead , it will then result in the suffering of their loved ones forever. You build your own liberations into someone's pain.. do you think it is the right thing to do so ?

 

Some people would never understand how is it feel to be the one who suffer for other's happiness. They always kept this selfishness in their heart , as long as they are happy , they wouldn't bother about those who are suffering for their stupidity attitude.

 

Well I had met one , and thanks to him, I knew how silly and dumb I used to be.Thanks to him , for treating me as a nothing , I finally found my value back all by myself.Thanks to him,for his heartless and coldness, I never knew I had such a strong will to survive and continue my life as usual.Thanks to him , for giving me all those fake promises , I finally realized that promises without any actions can never be trusted. Thanks to him , I finally knew how valuable my friends and family are. Thanks to him , I finally learned not to fall in love that easily again.Thanks to him , for his childishness and egoistic characters, I finally understood the criteria of a mature guy should own , and what is the real meaning of a true love Is. Thanks to him , I woke up once again , knew that I should balance my life , and always stays alert.Knew that I should trained myself into a better person before I asked for something good , knew that I should be proud of myself because I am someone better than I thought. I found all my confidence back , and that is because I keep telling myself , that I am great , I can improve and be better , no one will ever break me down before me.And I will never felt guilty and regret , because I really did paid 100 percent feelings on you , being loyal to you , love you with all my heart , I even cried for you , happy for you , and care for you. But unfortunately , you choose not to appreciate and pay any afford on me , I can say nothing about this.I don't wanna force you to love me , nor making you feel annoy with me.I will choose to back off for the sake of your freedom and happiness.And this will be the last thing I did for you.

 

Once again , I forgive you.   

 

Without you , I can still survive. Although we both never end up In a good ways , but I will still remember the good things that happened between both of us , on how you first cherish and treasure me which makes me felt like a princess for real.Though I still do not know the reason why you lost feelings for me after a short period of cherishing me and why you always ran away and evade from me when problems occured between us.But I still choose to see the good side of you and remember all those happy moments we had.I appreciate that very well.

 

My life still needs to continue isn't it ? I will not say that my wound had been 100 percent healed. But I strongly believe that someday it will. ( Still, ha , is my first love,and it didn't gone smooth as I predicted , even worse than I thought )  And because I said so , I will sure execute this.

 

Each person's life are likely to have experience a low ebb through moments , but if you choose to end it right now , you will always remain and stay in the same low ebb. Continue your jouney , you will find a different outcome.   

 

Think about it , there are thousands and millions of people around the world facing alot more tragedies than you , they still live and survive though their life are like shits, do you , or do we even deserve to choose not to live ?

 

If today is your most tragic moments of all , tomorrow will sure be better than today. Only by putting down those depressing thoughts , walked through it and continue your journey , you will sure find the best way to relief the pain that lies unto you.

 

 

My dream house. Simple and nice. Japanese living style ! :D I aim this , I aim this !!

The matter of whether you like it or not , is a very subjective kind of feelings.

Everyone is different , everyone owns different thoughts.

It is difficult to define someone's likes or dislike.

One has the right to choose whether to like or dislike a thing. You can choose your own hobbies , that won't be a problem at all. No one can grab your rights to decide that.

But , we must not let them to affect others.

What you like , is your own business to decide. But by choosing what you like might causes distress to other people , still , is a fact.

Is like depriving other's right to choose what they like nor dislike.

Everyone's preferences are different.

Therefore , we should respect other's preferences as well in order to get the respect we need. 

Although we may not always own the respect we wanted. But at least , more than you thought.

Only by respecting each other needs , a better interaction will then exist between humans.